dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
