I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
