you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
