I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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