She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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