sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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