and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
