Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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