Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We are two peas in an std pod
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
