Are we in a gay sports bar?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
