the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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