I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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