Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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