I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
