420 ftw
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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