When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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