who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
