we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize