i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He passed out mid-signature
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
