So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
