she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
