OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
