even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
