It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
