Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just cut my nipple shaving
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
