NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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