Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
