she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
