i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize