morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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