In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
