Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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