whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
