Cold hands, warm shart.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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