Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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