I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
