I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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