that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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