Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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