My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
