Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
