I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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