4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
from now on my penis is your penis
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
