how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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