Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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