I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
