you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
