Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
