at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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