you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize