so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
