Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
thus making me awesome and them whores
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
