My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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