when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
