You can't motorboat a personality
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
