remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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