is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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