i just google imaged poop.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
