someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
dude. I can hear the air.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
