we have officially lost it.
I am puke
id be glad to
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
