I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
