she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
