i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize